The truth is, i'm so damn tired of waiting
for phone calls for people, for this person or that
for this opportunity, for a pay check

my life has been lived for people for so long now that i feel I miss myself
i was talking to a friend and he said he watched a movie that he hasn't seen in awhile
and it reminded him of how he use to be just a few years back and that he missed his old self,
that whole time i thought to myself what that meant and was fully content with who i was
but as the week goes on i think and look back to that sentence and I haven't truly seen then real me in so many years
i've almost forgotten who i was , was i born to just follow a herd ? i always believed that everyone is special for something but is that true maybe sometimes what people are good at is following the pack letting what happens reflect them.



i was once at the top of the line living MY life but no one can foresee a separation in a pack and within that another one amongst myself... I have moved between these 3 packs for so many years now... I'm dieing to lead my pack again,

so yes i do miss my old self, but that form of me has dissolved with time i am no longer that voice, that size that height anymore i have grown through two more stages of life and its time to let the child rest...

am i born to follow? i think i'll keep finding myself in this position again and again..
almost like a person in a abusive relationship but there's only so much abuse a person can take
i refuse to continue abusing myself by living off the worlds standards

am i born to follow? i dont give two shits

...The truth is, i'm so damn tired of waiting... just don't get mad when i call a cab and find a new destination

...... Falling back
Springing forward ........

hour of sleep
hour of fun

hour argument
hour of pure agreeing

hour of homework
hour of television

hour of art
hour of laundry

hour
hour
after hour

what are you doing with your hour?
making something of it ?
wasting it ?
using it to get ahead?

an hour can make or break something, every minute of everyday shapes you, its you who decides how

Springing forward ........

every year this happens
theres no helping it
and i'm forced
every march
to
give
up
one
of
my
precious
HOURS!!!!

1 hour! fuck the one i got back in fall
what about now falls a long time ago and a long time coming
but spring is here now!

what did i miss in that hour?
what could have happened, what could i have become in that hour? what if that hour was home to my 15 min of fame? what if i was to meet the love of my life in that hour ? what if that how i was to become a millionaire?

...... Falling back
Springing forward ........


so where did this all begin ? what the hell is the real time ? was i born at 4? or was i really born at 5 ?

u can have my hour if u want spring! but know this i have from now until fall to dream about how awesome that hour was and u better believe i'm going to own that hour in fall so HA LAUGHS ON U SPRING

ps. fall is one hour longer then u HAAHAHAHA SUCKER!!!:P

drama is my best friend,
no matter where i go my best friend loves to find me

"Ever feel like you're losing something? Like a friendship thats just slipping away? You've worked so hard to get where you are and suddenly you feel like its falling apart? when you feel like its basically hopeless to revive it at all? Feelings of doubt, and fear of the outcome in the future? Yea, it sucks. When it feels one-sided is the worst. When all you do is try to make things better, but you get no response on the other side. When every instant message... becomes a plea; and every call... becomes a sign for help. Saving a life is not a matter of physical things anymore... what about saving someone emotionally? It means so much to one person to let them know that they CARE. I've been saved more than once, and I could not be more thankful for those people. Even those who I thought never did nor could've cared, still did. And I am in awe and loss of words for that. I CARE! I CARE!?"

-someone important


I CARE:)